Jeff Noble recently posted his opinions on another post regarding the answer to knowing when it is time to leave your church. There is a chance that my posting is going to come off sounding adversarial and I would like to say, for the record, that it is certainly not my intention...
While I agree with most of what Jeff has to say about this topic, I have to ask this question... Is it not possible for a person to evaluate "whether they or their children are growing spiritually and in their understanding of and embrace of a life mission and ministry" in a "pew-centered" and/or "classroom-oriented" setting? I know an awful lot of regular church attenders (ones that attend a "pew-centered" and "classroom-oriented" church) that are aware that "there are genuine and authentic (though certainly not perfect) gatherings of Christ followers"... these individuals are constantly evaluating their church and they often have issues with things, but the implication that these people "haven’t paused long enough to consider the dearth of a deep love of God and others in their own spiritual life" is preposterous and seems to be colored with more than just a small amount of pride... maybe I'm wrong.
Where is the mention of asking God if it is time to leave the church? I know more than a handful (some in my own church... many that are not) of people that would have left their church a very long time ago for different reasons, but that feel like God has left them there for a specific purpose... discovering that purpose is often difficult, but they feel that there is a reason that they are supposed to stay. In a culture and time in which it is becoming easier and easier to move on when you discover that you don't love your spouse... or your job... or your house... or your church, I tend to err on the side of being absolutely sure that God's desire is to move on... I recently experienced this as another church that I had initially never contacted asked me to come in view of a call... much "better job" on paper, but God was not in this move.
Am I wrong here? I do want to hear from anyone on this...
Great post, Ben. I think the important thing is that people prayerfully consider what the Lord is telling them first. You and I both know that for many, many people church attendance can be habitual rather than holy, perfunctory rather than purposeful.
Christ is Head of the church, and unfortunately, there are people in every local church that treat His body more as a religious club instead of a community of followers seeking to bring glory and honor to Him.
The point of my post was to get people thinking, and I can tell that it’s done just that. Thanks for continuing this dialog.
Thanks, Jeff… not sure who Ben is… but thanks anyhow.
We recently dealt with this battle, and I can tell you from firsthand experience, our decision was based totally on what we felt God wanted us to do, and nothing else. We spent a short time staying on with the questionable motive of thinking that we may have been “supposed to be there” in order to bring up important issues that needed attention, and to make sure all members voices were heard. This was not the case, and we knew immediately that we were 100% called to move on.
Apparently we were thought to be exhibiting “unhealthy indications that we were not willing to plug in to other’s lives, only those who make them comfortable.” This was in no way true. What WAS and IS true is that we latched onto the people that were feeling the same feelings we were experiencing, which were those of utter disappointment. We were also thought to be ones that “only seem to be able to identify and zero in on things that bother them” within the church. Once again, not so. What we were focused on were the mistakes of mortal men, not God, failing us in leading us in our walk with our Savior. It’s hard to NOT focus on feeling unimportant to your church family. We were NOT “determined to be discontent” in any manner. Quite the contrary, actually. We yearned for contentment again. But there’s truth in saying that no one said that the walk we have with our Lord would be easy. This certainly was not, but I am still right on his heels, choking on the dust.
Bottom line, from my side, is that I know I have no right to look at someone and say, “Your method of worship doesn’t count. By doing bible study in your own home, and not in the doors of a church, you are straying from God.”
Or “By going to the same hum drum baptist church for your entire life is just a repetitive motion you go through weekly because it is your routine, and not true, intense worship with the Lord.”
I would never want to be the one to pass judgment on someone else’s ideas of what real worship is for them.
For us, it would most definitely to go back to our old church. We love the people, and our kids thrive there. But, my heart is not in it, and it is no longer my path to God. So yes, it is HARDER to do my own bible studies, but it is also just as fulfilling for me, if not more so. It’s harder to take the responsibility of being the sole spiritual leader (with my husband) to my children, but isn’t that the way it is supposed to be?
Wow! I have to say thank you for continuing the reasons for leaving “church”. My husband and I have also left our church because Christ has been showing us that he doesn’t just reside inside 4 walls. While looking back at our journey we do realize that the growth that has occurred within 4 walls has brought us to the point where we can be with him anywhere and still grow. We are not on this journey alone and are walking with other Christ Followers.
I am also writing because my husband is also a musician. His past doesn’t include schooling but it does include many years in a country band, with his brother, and a developmental deal with Epic Records. He stopped playing professionally when we had our son but found that he could use his talent to not only help others worship Jesus but get closer than he’s ever been himself. His only regret is that he didn’t know that sooner and go into Christian music instead of Country! We also live in Monticello and he said that if you ever need anyone to jam with he would absolutely love to. He has be playing the drums but loves to pick the guitar and spends most of his time doing that. If you might be interested or would like to meet for lunch, just let me know.
Brandi Williams